Lalalalala thoughts
October 8, 2008Its almost 1 in the morning and I can’t sleep kaya ito blog muna. Woot! Isang presentation nalang and sem’s over for me! Yey! Isang napaka=emotionally draining and physically exhausting ang sem na ito. Naging busybusyhan sa org at mejo napabayaan ang acads. Pero di ko naman pinagsisihan ang lahat pero mas maayos ko lang sana ginawa ang mga bagay bagay mas naging madali ang lahat. Haha! When I run for the position I never thought na it’ll be that hard. As in H.A.R.D. Gawd! The former VP made it look easy but NOOOO!
During the first months I was like, “OMG! Why did I run for the position? Ano na naman itong pinasukan ko?”. I was getting too emotional sa mga bagay at sa mga tao. I was, and still is, optimistic for the organization. Summer pa lang sabi ko “Gagawin ko lahat for the org” and excited ako for the AY to start. Marami akong plano, marami akong gustong gawin pero marami rin ang di natupad dito. OK lang, majority naman rin and I think mas OK nga ung plans ng lahat. I thought kasi nung una things will run smoothly pag plinano ng maayos pero hindi lang pala un. Kelan mo rin i-consider mga tao sa paligid mo and you have to think for others lagi.
After ng isang problem may susulpot pa ulet and ganun palagi. Paulit ulit lang. Kelangan mo silang intindihin, paliwanagan, at i-please. Kelangan bawat actions mo ay “katanggap-tanggap” kasi pag hindi people will judge you dahil lang dun. Pag di ka nakasmile, sasabihin masungit ka. Pag tahimik ka, galit. People are watching you and waiting for you to commit mistakes so that they can laugh and stab you in the back and telling you that your efforts are not enough blah blah blah.
Planning was definitely the hardest of all. You have to get the voice of the majority kung hindi magtatampo ung iba. You have to be not bias in everything or simply not to voice your stand. You have to be very careful with everything. As in careful.
Sabi nga nila, sa bawat paghihirap may kapalit naman and totoo naman. Lahat ng luha, puyat, sakit sa ulot, atbp ay nagiging sulit after ng mga events na super successful. Hindi mo magagawang magalit kasi masaya naman ang lahat, after ng lahat, kami kami parin ang nagdadamayan.
Marami parin akong gustong gawin, ayokong maging safe kasi lahat gusto maging safe. Gusto kong i-challenge ang sarili ko. Boring na kasi pag walang challenge, hehe. At un ang natutunan ko this sem, to challenge yourself to do better and to accept change for good. Care for people around you and for the things that is happening around you. Di pwede ang kebs ka na lang sa lahat pero it doesn’t mean naman na mangialam ka or magpaapekto. i learned to not be emotional, to be reasonable, and to be myself dahil may social life din naman ako nabawasan nga lang.
One more sem and gagrad na ako. One more sem of serving the org that I learned to love and that became my Family. Gash! Pano na ako after ng lahat? But then again, challenge na naman ito. Kaya ineenjoy lang habang pwede pa. Wala akong pinagsisisihan pero kung bibigyan ng pagkakataon na ulitin ulit ang first sem, I’ll do it again with less luha and more work while having fun. Hehehe.
i promised someone that I’ll do everything for the org and sana di ko sya nabigo. Salamat sa guidance at sa late night textmsgs. Hoy ikaw, pag nagkita tayo manlilibre ka! Seryoso ako! 
At sana di ko rin nabigo ung mga taong pinaglilingkuran ko. 
[Di po ito rants. Kaya bawal mag-assume. Hehe]
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